There is a MAN in every WoMAN: I Wonder Why Men Can’t Stand it!!!

Since Frued left the question ‘What women Want?’ unanswered, women have been perched upon the pedestal as an exhibit of unending mystery. I say if you really want to know what a woman wants, then go ask a woman. But the problem I guess is that men find it much easier to say that it is impossible to know what women want as then they don’t have to fulfil those wants or give the woman enough freedom to satisfy those wants on their own. With Freud’s question still posed year after year as a conundrum with no answer, even women have now started internalizing the thought and have started believing that may be there is no answer to this much discussed question. A question is said to have an answer only when the answer is accepted by all and understood by all. So the understanding level of men seems to have gone down with Freud and so the question remains unanswered till now. To know what a woman wants, one needs to accept that women too have the right to ‘want.’ They may express it differently owing to the difference in their nature, but the answer is always the same. You just need to interpret it correctly.

The 21st century may boast of having reached vibrant heights and may have achieved insuperable victories on all fronts, but there still remains an abyss of gloom that has not yet been filled. Even though we may have a tapestry of events that have marched us to the abode of prosperity, what continues to have survived is the hierarchal relation between men and women. The situation is similar to that in any organization. The fulfilment of an employee’s wish depends on whether those wishes are of any benefit to the employer. If yes, then they do meet their desired ends, but if no, then they are discarded as if they hold no rational explanations. Also if the employer finds his employee’s potentials to be challenging his own, he would do away with the employee posing any kind of threat to or questioning his position. The same situation echoes in the man-woman relationship. If meeting the woman’s wants requires the man to step out of his comfort zone, then he would rather project those wants as confusing and beyond rational parlance, than putting that extra tablespoon of effort to fulfil it. Similarly if a woman sores the heights of achievements, the man may question her means and ways of having reached those heights rather than appreciating her worth and feel proud of it.

This interminable saga of dominance and coercion reminds me of the story ‘Fox and the Grapes,’ and how the grapes (women) seem sour to the fox (man) because he cannot reach them. Today the word ‘woman’ has become a part of a Humpty Dumpty language – an eccentric use of language where the meaning of the word is determined by the speaker, and hence is described the way man sees her. He determines women to be confusing, because he cannot try and understand them. If she is so confusing why does she understand how much he needs her and still makes him believe that she is the one who needs him? He calls a woman difficult, because he cannot make life any easier for her. If she is so difficult why does she make his life easy by handling him and his relations at the same time? He states that women are dominating, because he cannot tell the world how much he dominates her. If she is so dominating why does a wife give up all her relations to make your relations her own? He says women are possessive, because he cannot give up what he wants her to give up. If she is so possessive, why does she stop talking or meeting her male friends after marriage and he still gets to enjoy the close company of his female friends?

I am sure men can cook up answers for all these whys and wherefores. But the real honest answer to these questions lies in the very existence of men, in the fact that a woman chose pain and hardship to bring them into this world. Whatever they do for her cannot equal that choice she once made. The only way they can try to repay her is by treating her clan with some respect and gratitude.

However, I often wonder if deep down inside every man lurks the desire to be a woman! I wonder, if women can feel happy about the achievements of their man, then are men incapable of such selflessness? I wonder if a woman understands every want of a man and completes his life with things he cannot achieve or do on his own (i.e. continue their lineage, slave over the hot stove, take care of his family like her own, support him during his falls...the list is endless) then can’t men afford to repay them by sharing some responsibilities? 
I wonder, I wonder, ‘What do men want women to want?’....