There is a MAN in every WoMAN: I Wonder Why Men Can’t Stand it!!!

Since Frued left the question ‘What women Want?’ unanswered, women have been perched upon the pedestal as an exhibit of unending mystery. I say if you really want to know what a woman wants, then go ask a woman. But the problem I guess is that men find it much easier to say that it is impossible to know what women want as then they don’t have to fulfil those wants or give the woman enough freedom to satisfy those wants on their own. With Freud’s question still posed year after year as a conundrum with no answer, even women have now started internalizing the thought and have started believing that may be there is no answer to this much discussed question. A question is said to have an answer only when the answer is accepted by all and understood by all. So the understanding level of men seems to have gone down with Freud and so the question remains unanswered till now. To know what a woman wants, one needs to accept that women too have the right to ‘want.’ They may express it differently owing to the difference in their nature, but the answer is always the same. You just need to interpret it correctly.

The 21st century may boast of having reached vibrant heights and may have achieved insuperable victories on all fronts, but there still remains an abyss of gloom that has not yet been filled. Even though we may have a tapestry of events that have marched us to the abode of prosperity, what continues to have survived is the hierarchal relation between men and women. The situation is similar to that in any organization. The fulfilment of an employee’s wish depends on whether those wishes are of any benefit to the employer. If yes, then they do meet their desired ends, but if no, then they are discarded as if they hold no rational explanations. Also if the employer finds his employee’s potentials to be challenging his own, he would do away with the employee posing any kind of threat to or questioning his position. The same situation echoes in the man-woman relationship. If meeting the woman’s wants requires the man to step out of his comfort zone, then he would rather project those wants as confusing and beyond rational parlance, than putting that extra tablespoon of effort to fulfil it. Similarly if a woman sores the heights of achievements, the man may question her means and ways of having reached those heights rather than appreciating her worth and feel proud of it.

This interminable saga of dominance and coercion reminds me of the story ‘Fox and the Grapes,’ and how the grapes (women) seem sour to the fox (man) because he cannot reach them. Today the word ‘woman’ has become a part of a Humpty Dumpty language – an eccentric use of language where the meaning of the word is determined by the speaker, and hence is described the way man sees her. He determines women to be confusing, because he cannot try and understand them. If she is so confusing why does she understand how much he needs her and still makes him believe that she is the one who needs him? He calls a woman difficult, because he cannot make life any easier for her. If she is so difficult why does she make his life easy by handling him and his relations at the same time? He states that women are dominating, because he cannot tell the world how much he dominates her. If she is so dominating why does a wife give up all her relations to make your relations her own? He says women are possessive, because he cannot give up what he wants her to give up. If she is so possessive, why does she stop talking or meeting her male friends after marriage and he still gets to enjoy the close company of his female friends?

I am sure men can cook up answers for all these whys and wherefores. But the real honest answer to these questions lies in the very existence of men, in the fact that a woman chose pain and hardship to bring them into this world. Whatever they do for her cannot equal that choice she once made. The only way they can try to repay her is by treating her clan with some respect and gratitude.

However, I often wonder if deep down inside every man lurks the desire to be a woman! I wonder, if women can feel happy about the achievements of their man, then are men incapable of such selflessness? I wonder if a woman understands every want of a man and completes his life with things he cannot achieve or do on his own (i.e. continue their lineage, slave over the hot stove, take care of his family like her own, support him during his falls...the list is endless) then can’t men afford to repay them by sharing some responsibilities? 
I wonder, I wonder, ‘What do men want women to want?’....

It’s Time for a ‘Break’

Bedtime stories and the pink world of Barbie dolls that adorn our childhood days instil a desire in our grown-up minds – a desire to live in an enchanted world of fairy tales where we could all be princes and princesses, a world where the life of every ugly duckling meets a happy ending, where the miserable life of Cinderella gets transformed with a flick of fairy godmother’s wand, where pumpkins turn into ornate carriages, and where mermaids fall in love with princes of the land. This desire lurks somewhere in all of us and minting money by nurturing this desire to the extreme end is the ‘advertising world.’ Advertisements today are made to play upon our deepest unknown desires, luring us into buying products which we otherwise wouldn’t wish to buy.

The Indian advertising industry seems to uphold the western beauty myth of thin, young, able-bodied, heterosexual, and light-skinned women. In an attempt to display such epitomes of perfection, they send out the message that those who do not fall into this bracket are imperfect. To overcome such inadequacies many starve themselves, develop eating disorders, take up harmful measures and believe everything that rationality dictates not to believe. For instance, fair skin is the dream of many in India. It is a dream that voices itself in the various matrimonial ads demanding a ‘fair-skinned bride.’ This desire to possess fair skin has been exploited much in the various commercial spots on television. They show how darkness of the skin casts clouds of gloom over the life of a girl and how a wonder cream that transforms dark skin into magically fair skin comes to rescue and wins her the love of her life. Though the rational side of the consumers tells them the impossibility of turning fair in a few days, their hope built up by the fantasising ads make them discard their senses. Even men are being ensnared into the idealised lean, muscular and fair-skinned image that seems to be shrouding the concept of ‘tall, dark, and handsome men,’ increasing the business of fitness centres and fairness creams for men.

Children form another area upon which advertisements focus. It has been proven that children wield an immense power of purchasing. This is the reason why products related to children find place in the lower shelves of the supermarket. They are tactfully placed there for children to see and whine a little to include them in their shopping cart. What’s worse is that with children starring in the various advertisements of soft drinks and junk food, a healthy meal gets replaced with pizzas, burgers and aerated drinks leading children to an unhealthy tomorrow.

Another misuse of this powerful means of persuasion is seen in recent mobile phone ad in which, a female employee, when refused a promotion, uses a secretly captured video clip of her boss against him. Such ads not only put the potential of working women in question but also encourage the wrong use of technology to suit ones purpose.

Advertisement is indeed a useful and influential marketing strategy but in the struggle to overcome competition from other brands, every company tries to pose as the best, creating utter confusion and chaos in the minds of the consumer who, being unable to decide, ends up buying the product making the maximum pompous display. With superstars from the film industry and the field of sports, who are idolised by people across the country, becoming mediums of such harmful propagation, the low budget government ads like ‘jaago grahak jaago’ produced to make the consumers aware, become the much awaited moment to flip channels or to attend to the nature’s call. Advertisements are a powerful source of reform. They, if channelized in the interest of the consumer, can encourage quality buying and can provide the country with a healthy today and tomorrow.

The Jungle's Pride
This is one my favourites and also one of my most time consuming paintings. Such detailed paintings not only give me a sense of satisfaction but also increase my level of patience and concentration. This painting in particular took me about a month to complete. But the final outcome has certainly made me feel on the top of the world. I see a lot of emotions packed in this one frame. Be it pride, ferocity, naughtiness, love, camaraderie, etc, it has it all.

Far from the Madding Crowd
This is one of my paintings that somewhere reflects my deepest desires of breaking away from the humdrum routine life and escaping to some quiet place, far away from the busy streets, the hustle and bustle of the city and the mind boggling worries of life. But loneliness can often be frustrating. That's the reason why I have chosen a dog accompanying the man as the central piece of the painting. Just as the dog is said to be a man's best friend and is considered to be a loyal companion, relishing the sights that nature has to offer with a best friend, a loyal ally could be quite an experience....

Face of Innocence

On the surface this painting may appear to be just a face. But according to me it captures the essence of India - the culture, the tradition, the innocence and the simplicity. It shows the beauty that every Indian woman epitomizes. It is not beauty associated with glamour, but one related to the gleam that the sheer Indian spirit lends to the face of every Indian. It comes from within and brightens up the without.

By the Lake
Yet another dream spot where my thoughts wander. Such places remind me of Henry Davies' lines: "What is this life if full of care, We have no time to stand and stare." How much would I love to stop at some place like this and observe every ripple in the water, every chirp of the bird, and record the stillness of the place in my mind and carry it along till the end of time...